Autumn is here
The magic of autumn is the combination of cool air changing the landscape as robust trees lose their leaves and the empty spaces echo with mystery. There is a spooky energy in the short days and long nights.
Full moon, cold air on my neck and the rustling of dried out leaves in the breeze can have me looking around for someone to hop out of the shadows.
Who is sneaking up behind me? Probably no one right?
I totally understand why the northeastern portion of the US was home to some great stories like “The Legend of Sleepy Hollow” by Washington Irving. We still worry about the dead walking but now their not headless, just mindless.
Zombies are everywhere in popculture and though my kids like them, they don’t like it when I initiate a game of “What would you do in a zombie apocalypse?”
This is a silly question when logic tells us it is unlikely that the dead will walk and try to eat us – but in the spirit of fun – what would you do?
Myself, I would try to survive for as long as possible, but if it became clear that there was no way that I was going to make it I have a contingency plan.
- Step 1 Glucosamine: mega doses of glucosamine. The reason that the zombies are always limping along is that their joints are deteriorating from lack of synovial fluid. While this is not a forever solution I think that flooding my system with some glucosamine might keep me spry for a while. And I think that the flexible zombie gets more brains. (It was a total coincidence that my old joints were achy and I bought some glucosamine – my 13 year old spotted it and assumed – well,.. probably that I am nuts.)
- Step 2 Wear athletic outfit and nice sneakers. Who wants to be some rag a ma tag zombie limping along barefoot in torn clothes? Spoiler Alert – I’m gonna be a zombie – #Track Suit Zombie
- Step 3 Get close enough to get a bite on the arm and have a weapon to keep the zombie from eating me. In order to pull off the track suit zombie ensemble I can’t be walking around all gored up.
- Step 4 Position myself where there will be some people to chase so that once I wake up all dead and ravenous there will be something to snack on.
Death is inevitable but being some smelly half eaten limping around bag of bones is optional – I prefer to go out in style.
“Come on baby, and she had no fear
And she ran to him, then they started to fly
They looked backward and said goodby, she had become like they are
She had taken his hand, she had become like they are
Come on baby, don’t fear the reaper“- Blue Oyster Cult
The Feisty Pauper 